Tuesday, 25 April 2017

Their life is better than mine.

28 REJAB 1438H

Love Locks
Namsan Tower, South Korea

Being a girl, jealousy is something we can't really get rid of. Not sure if I can represent all the other girls out there, but I'm pretty sure that feeling of jealousy or envy is there. It could be with your siblings, relatives, friends, boyfriend's/husband's ex girlfriend, or some complete stranger who seems to have a better life than yours based on their Instagram posts so on and so forth. In this post I'll be talking about online jealousy. Social media jealousy. Because, almost everyone uses social media these days. 

Jealousy can really ruin you. It consumes your mind, and soul. So. How to stop being jealous? I think it's not easy to not to not be jealous, but there are ways to handle it so it doesn't drag you while you're trying to walk through life. 

I would say stop looking at their posts online, but hey that's tough to do right? There's always that itch and curiosity to see what that person is up to. Even if you don't stalk them (yes stalk), they'd probably pop out in your feed somehow. And there goes your itchy fingers wanting to check it out. And then you'll start looking at one post after another, perhaps checking out how many likes and comments they have and whatnot. Then you'll either consciously or unconsciously start comparing their lives with your own. 

And you start to make up for it. You end up starting to show what you have as well. Happy life, happy marriage, happy kids, happy family, delicious food you are about to eat, traveling, new phone husband bought for you on your anniversary, the list goes on. Though, for some it's just about sharing that piece of life of theirs. But at some point, without realizing it, it's really showing off - more so to those who tend to get easily jealous. 

I remember reading somewhere, that those who are truly happy don't show it off online. I don't entirely agree nor disagree with this. But it is somewhat true. Then there are those who are truly sad that don't show it online too. I mean if you are really sad, how could you find the time to post online? I guess it's a way to let it out, to share in hopes there will be someone who will listen, and perhaps lend a helping keyboard and give comfort and say it's gonna be okay. 

I was one who used social media to let it all out. Did it help? In the short run, yes. But in the long run, uhmm nope, not at all. It's more destructive than constructive. You get so consumed by depending on others, without really trying to deal what's going on deep down inside. The conflict you go through is only solved temporarily. Your problems are shoved deeper down the hole, and it gets harder to get back out. 

Back to being jealous with other people on social media. Whatever you see online, are mostly the sugar coated part of people's lives. You don't know their own struggles, their own conflicts in life. Everyone has them. Some people are just better at covering them. They could be genuinely happy in life, but that's not really living the life if you don't go through the bad phases while trying to get up there. 

So, if you're:
  • Not yet married, and jealous seeing your friends getting happily hitched, posting photos of their happy life and family. Don't be. They just don't show the conflict they go through.
  • Married but, still no baby? Yet your friends are having kids of their own, one, two, three, four or even more. Don't be jealous, make the most out of the free time for yourself that you have. Do something productive. Go all out. This is your opportunity, once you have kids, your time is for your kids, only a little left for yourself. 
  • I only have SPM < Diploma < Degree < Masters < PhD. Jealous, challenged by someone who has a higher education than you? Being inspired and motivated is fine, but don't let your level of education make you feel inferior. Don't let a piece of paper represent who you are in the society no matter what the society says. But if it's for a job requirement, than that's something else. 
  • Doing business but someone else business is doing better than yours? So what? Let them be, you focus and do your own thing. Like mentioned above, being inspired and motivated is fine. Just don't let it make you feel down, or jealous. It's unhealthy (to the point that some would even use dirty tactics to ruin others). 
  • Jealous of how rich, good looking someone else is? Oh gosh, the good looking part is an issue that I have been struggling since forever. Way to resolve? Be thankful of all the little things in life, your heart still being able to beat, your eyes, still being able to see, your friends and family who are still there to love you. Seriously there is so much to be thankful for, yet you waste your time on such superficial things. 

Stop focusing on your weakness, the things that you don't have, and focus on the things you do have. There are people who have lost their homes, their families, their limbs, their lives, yet you are here today, right now, reading this. And remember, this life in this Dunya, is only temporary. Why stress yourself over trivial things when you could focus on packing the necessities for the best life ever that will last forever in Akhirah

{Sue Anna Joe}

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