Hitam Itu Menawan

Sooooo, macam biasa scroll timeline Twidda I terbaca kes mak Haneesya Hanee the Malaysian model saman some fellas sebab said her kulit was gelap like bubble tea and Hajarul Aswad. So okay, Hajarul Aswad tu serious melampaulah weiiii. Then, nampak pulak tweet Dr. Amalina pasal whitening skincare. Cerita pasal kulit hitam putih ni memang takkan habis. In fact I did blog about it in Budu dan Belacan. About my own issues about wanting fair skin. 

Having fair skin memang nampak lawa putih gebu, nampak macam bersih bersih gitu, sinar lagi terpancar. Nak pakai apa warna baju pun takda masalah. Come on, kalau ada baby baru lahir, kulit putih cerah, kita mesti akan komen, putihnya baby. Khenn. Kalau baby tu dark skin, kita akan diam, takda kata eh hitamnya babyyyy, cause we automatically associate hitam tu macam negative remark. Siap ada mitos masa pregnant jangan minum kopi nanti anak hitam, minum soya bagi anak putihlah ahaha gila. 

Then kalau zaman sekolah, perempuan yang kulit putih yang jadi hot stuff, popular. Maka yang kulit tanned exotic ni pun rasa lah down. Dah berapa banyak komen I baca, masing-masing yang berkulit tanned exotic ni cerita pengalaman selalu kena ejek kulit hitam. Pastu kalau lelaki yang komen lagilah, mulut macam puaka. Dia punya zass tu tak ingat. Kejam gila kalau lelaki mengata. Berbisa. 

My kulit isn't exactly very dark, but far from putih lah. But I wanted fair skin, bukan fairer but fair. I have used numerous whitening skincare. Fair and Lovely (masa sekolah rendah dah guna), then branded skincares like Estee Lauder, Biotherm, Shisheido, then yang less branded like L'Oréal, then yang local, macam Ibu Putih dan sebagainya. But I tak beranilah try yang jenis kulit peeling tu sebab scary wehhhh. Have also minum AuraWhite (which menjadi, but taklah putih gebu, it did help lighten my skin). Stopped sebab tak mampu nak maintain and of course risau nanti rosak organ dalaman in the long run.

Tapi sekarang banyak gila produk whitening. Dari sapu kat kulit, ke injection, ke makan. Baru-baru ni nampak ada bleaching product untuk kulit, sapu je nanti terus putih, eeee scary weh. Kau ingat kulit kita ni baju uniform sekolah ke nak clorox kasi putih. But desperate people do stupid things. 

Sekarang I dah tak kisah sangatlah nak putihkan kulit. Nak cerahkan supaya tak kelihatan kusam, tu ye. Even when I edit my photos I do brighten it up just so tak nampak kusam. Kita ni dah kena brainwash sejak kecik asal kulit putih je lawa. Also, kita tengok sahaja our royalty, am pretty sure most of 'em ladies have fair skin kan? So macam manalah kita tak associate kulit putih ni special?

It comes back down to us, as individuals to change our own mindset. Especially siapa yang kulit gelap, we shouldn't be ashamed to say it out loud, ye aku kulit gelap, hitam, so what? For those who have kids with darker skin tone, especially yang perempuan, kita as parents kena tanam dalam diorang, educate them, that you should love your skin tone no matter what. Bagitau tak perlu sibuk nak putihkan kulit tu. Yang penting be healthy and have healthy skin. 

Jadilah ibarat Boba Milk Tea. Walaupun warna Bobanya hitam, tetapi ia enak sekali dan menjadi kegemaran ramai.

{Sue Anna Joe}

Am I too old for this?

Malas nak letak watermark. Gambar masa gi South Korea.

So I was saying on my Instagram story about how I felt like blogging but always ending up not knowing what to blog about. So here I am trying to give it a go again. 

Sooooo hi korang. Gosh this is awkward. My glorious blogging and social media days are over. Should prolly change my blog's name to Blog Sendu. Haha. Seriously though that is how I feel after coming back from quiting the Internet cold turkey. I had about 16k followers on my IG, 10k on Twitter. Came back, created new accounts and the response seriously underwhelming. IG 2.4k ish followers, Twitter tak sampai 1k, and my Facebook page, been losing "fans" each time I post, so like WTH am I doing wrong? Sorry but I am a stats whore. Trying not to be anymore. 

Kadang tu fed up gak, rasa macam why did I ever come back, or why did I even leave ya know? I did leave to kind of restart my life again after going through some turbulence in my life. And hoping for a fresh new me fresh new start, fresh new outlook. But noooo, when I got back, the social media scene was cray cray. Mutual followers back then have like berpuluh, beratus ribu and a even a million followers now. And like mushroom influencers here and there with a huge following. Like whaaaaaa. 

Sue Anna Joe who? Halaa halaa teringat that one fella who made a spoof MySpace page called Sue Anna Who.. haha macam apa je, but hey I deserved it. I was indeed a "righteous b*tch".. still waiting for that book to be published girl. I doubt any one has any idea what I am membebeling about, but if you do, then you knowlah what I mean. Those were the days kan? 

But I am old la. Dah patut move on benda alah gini. Duk rumah, jadi mak mak, jaga anak, ya know. Leave behind dunia Internet ni. But nooooo how can I not join all the makcik bawangs and be left out right? 

So here I am struggling to find a balance, to try and move on from my days back then, but still be somewhat relevant. But it is tough, dah rasa jauh tenggelam, kecil, kerdil, terkambus, dah tak terkejar. A lot of times it does get me down, which is stupid I know. Semua dunia. But yeah, a lot of my past after school was all social media and made who I was known for. So it's seriously tough to let go. 

But what I can do is... first don't be tough on myself. Don't push myself to make things to look all perfect and nice. No need to prove myself to anyone. Stop comparing myself to others, especially their achievements. Be grateful for the tiniest things in life. And of course remember ini dunia semua sementara. Gotta make the most of it for the life after yaw. Ye dok? Kang dah habis masa, menyesal pun tak guna ye dok. Even satu saat pun kita rasa rugi aku tak buat bekalan yang secukupnya. But how cukup is cukup? 

You know we spend so much time on social media, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, YouTube and other things Netflix e.t.c... padehal masa tu kita boleh guna untuk baca Qur'an, faham, hafal apa patut, zikir dan sebagainya.. yet we spend like perhaps 90% on worldly things and only 10% on ibadah. Even that 10% buat sebab wajib, and a lot of times masa beribadah tu kita duk teringat the 90% tu. Aduhhh. 

It's a struggle. It's a challenge we must face before it's too late. And by the way, kita perempuan yang paliiiing banyak temptation huwaaaa. Okaylah bai. Assalamualaikum. 

 {Sue Anna Joe}