Day 4: Sick & my interview on Astro Awani

Am feeling a bit unwell today. Kena demam blogging ke apa ni. Haha. Anyway, I don't think I can write up a post today, so I'll just share a video of my interview with Astro Awani a while back. Punya lama tak keluar TV, I was sooooo nervous. Dahla live. So I'll leave you with this video. 

Much love,

Binging on Gilmore Girls & K-Dramas

So, Gilmore Girls has a new season, "A Year in the Life". Back then I didn't really watch Gilmore cause always missed it when it aired. So recently decided to binge on it from Season 1 before I watch the latest. 

I really love TV shows from this era. Don't know if it's an age thing, but it just hits differently then current TV shows. Currently at Season 4. I watch mostly while I do other things, duk tengah kupas, potong bawang ke, sambil lukis ke, e.t.c...

So I binge like 2-3 episodes at one go. In the meantime, there are a bunch of other series that I watch as well but leave hanging. And get back to it whenever I feel like it. Sometimes I forget the storyline. But some series I tend to like really binge watch from start to finish. Depends on how hooked I am.

We have Astro at home, tapi tak tengok langsung now dah ada Netflix as well as Disney hotstar. But might wanna cancel subscription for Disney cause we don't watch it as much. 

Have watched quite a number of Korean series. They make some really great series. I even did a few digital paintings based off the screencaps of them. 

Vincenzo

Goblin

The Uncanny Counter

Hotel Del Luna

Been a while since I've did these kind of digital paintings. Realistic-ish. I started doing them when I watched Hotel Del Luna, was in love with the cinematography, the ambience. It was soooo beautiful which made me want to repaint the scene. 

Anyway, gonna end this here. Need to rest a bit and hopefully feel better soon. But will try my best to keep on posting on this blog on a daily basis.  Share with me your fav series, might watch it as well! Aight, byeeeee. 

Much love,

Hari ke-2 cubaan berblogging seperti dulu

Panjangnya tajuk. Okay, I tulis kat Twitter yang I akan cuba blog setiap hari. Kah kah kah. Let's see how long this will last. So here I am on my 2nd day of blogging like I used to. 

Today's topic will be...

Dammit, still got no idea what to write about. Tiba rasa macam, oh boringnya kehidupan I seharian sebab takda content nak tulis. Then again, there is actually so much to write about rather than myself right? So what, do I Google about what to write? Pick up some interesting findings on the internet and share?

Tapi sebab Twitter dah ada bebenang, benda ni semua boleh tulis situ. All in bite size. So here I am thinking out loud while typing out my thoughts, what should I blog about that would differentiate it from blogging and all other social media posts? 

WHAT DID I BLOG ABOUT LAST TIME??!!!!!

Okay jap, lemme recall... I think some were about me and my troubles with finishing my degree. Then, I talked about some of my love life (which I decide to no longer share cause I'm keeping that one personal). Not everything should be shared kannn. At least that's what I learnt last time. *sniff*

Then I had a few controversial "clout-ish" posts about current happenings. Then ohhh I had my fashion blog, Count The Thread sharing my OOTDS and street styles I shot (that was fun). My other art and photo blog, which I didn't update as frequent. Lmaoo I even had a motherhood blog also. I had multiple blogs. Like how on earth??!! Yang ni satu pun tak tau apa nak tulis. 

HOLD UP! As I was writing this post, someone commented Sam & Din on my Twitter, and I was like hahahahahahha. Yeah I used to talk about my silly dreams. 

Chaiyok for sam n din

— Iήsͥⱥnͣeͫ 🇲🇾.💬.🔁.💙.🔀.📊 (@insaneoredi) January 25, 2023

Tak taulah kalau ada orang lain yang ingat, but it was about my dream about Sam & Dean (Supernatural), I mimpi jumpa dekat Baskin & Robbins RR mana tah. Sam & Dean duk beratur kat belakang, sekali dia cakap favourite dia Pralines n Cream jugak. Wahahaha. Hati berbunga dalam mimpi tu sampai terjaga

Mimpi pun jadi content kan. But I think that's what was fun about blogging on Budu & Belacan. Random silly posts like that. But this blog would probably be a bit different, since it's a different time now and I'm much older. 

Will try my best to keep my content interesting. Tapi tu lah, kadang syok sendiri pun ada. Would be nice that others would join in and blog as well. If you do, drop your links in the comment. Nanti I add the links to my sidebar. 

Alangkah best kalau dapat bawa kembali zaman gemilang berblogging kan? Dia punya rasa teruja tu lain macam kalau ada post baru, nak lagi dari blogger kegemaran. 

I am also thinking that, maybe I can have this blog to an extension of some of my tweets. So like, if you wanna read more, drop by my blog post. Cause even with Twitter threads, some things can be somewhat limited. Banyak kena cut down to keep with the character limit. 

Tapi masa Twitter dulu, siap kena ada external link kalau nak tweet panjang haha. So this is why blogging was still relevant. And time tu takda thread. So blogging was the go to place to membebel and stuff. Nak share gambar segala, IG pun masih cam not as blown up as it is these days. 

Haih, makin menulis ni, makin membara rindu nak blog dan kembalikan feeling tu. I'd say blogging days were some of my best Internet days. Not to mention made so many real life friends there too. 

Okaylah, ending this here. Adios. 

Much love, 

Hello 2023

Yoooooo. It's been like 2 years since I last blogged. So, am just gonna go right at it. But so clueless of what to write. Still amazed and puzzled how I could write multiple posts in a single day back then. And now I just have no idea. Like hmm. And I keep on writing about blogging each time I write a new post.  I also keep on blaming Twitter for ruining the blog experience. 

Rindu zaman Budu & Belacan: Busuk Tapi Sedap days. Rindu those chatboxes on the side, and who visited stats etc.. Then there was Nuffnang with the advertorials and what not. Of course the events were wonderful. Got to meet fellow bloggers. Fun days fun times. 

Fast forward to today, I am mostly at home. Quit my day job, to be a full-time stay at home mom, work at home mom. 100% for a living. It has it's ups and downs. Buuuuttt I don't wanna get into that now. Maybe will keep it for another blog post, that is if I ever do continue writing. 

So this is Secret Mail Service. My surprise greeting card business I founded with my husband in 2017. Then went hiatus due to production issues, then now we're back! Just got a new printer so I can print the custom messages at the back. 

If interested you can check out our Instagram https://www.instagram.com/secretmailservice/ or our Twitter https://twitter.com/secretmailsrvc

Then, lately I've been TikToking, and tried gaining 1k followers to start doing LIVE. So reached 1k, but danngggg so awkward. 

@sueannajoe A slightly long video of me. Hoping I can gain more followers on TikTok so I can do LIVE art sessions! #fyp #artist #art #artwork #procreate #digitalart #traditionalart #painting #abstractpainting #illustration #doodle #artset4 #tiktokmalaysia #tiktokartist #tiktokart ♬ original sound - sueannajoe

Like how on earth people can be so natural on live. I macam eh nak cakap apa ni. I nak record video atas ni pun banyak gila take. But every once in a while I do go on randomly. But only like 10 or 9 is my most viewers at one time. Hahaha. Sendu. My live is mostly art stuff though.. 

And some of the LIVE are damn weird. And ramainya tak tidur like up till 3AM doing live. Siap full on make-up. But yeah most of them do get these live gifts which is converted into real money. So I guess that't their way of gaining income. To be honest, if TikTok was around during my younger days, I'd probably be doing that too. 

Tapi ada yang siap buat live tidur la, then nenek tua mandi lumpur la, siap polis buat siasatan. ASMR memang ramai buat, and ramai gila viewers. But back to that nenek tua mandi and tidur, it's like a new age begging. I faham yang live buat art content, bagi gift and that person will draw you, but some are just super desperate. Siap macam okay, kalau you bagi this certain amount, I will dance, slap my face, conteng muka. And kadang siap couple laki bini buat. Scary how it is. Black Mirror is becoming a reality. Anything for clout, anything for money. Malu segala sudah dipadam. 

Anyway, I'll end this post here. Trying to warm up. Who knows I might make blogging a regular thing again. Tapi memang kering takda idea apa nak tulis. 

Alrite, thank you to those who dropped by and read. Thank you for those who have followed me during my Budu & Belacan days or even way back. Wouldn't be here without you guys.

Much Love, 

Monologue: The feeling of giving up

Photo by Akshar Dave on Pexels

Is giving up an option? Yes and no. Some things I've given up, was the best choice I've made, but some turned out to be regrets. Of course there is no turning back, but there is always that question of "what if". This is life, the choices we make, the path we choose to take. It's always an adventure, scary a lot of times. 

But this is why, we need guidance in life. Dan kita sebenarnya dah ada "guidance" ni. Apa sepatutnya yang dituju dalam hidup ni. Tapi banyak masalah timbul sebab kita mengejar yang duniawi sampai matlamat yang kekal yang sepatutnya kita kecapi kita ambil ringan. 

I am always struggling with this, at the end of each day, I reflect on myself, and can't help but feel disappointed for not making the most out of it. And always set a new goal the next day, hoping to be a better me, and sometimes I do,  a lot of times I fail at it. And the thought of just giving up keeps on lingering in my head, which makes me feel all useless. And I fall back to zero. Get back up build the pieces again, only to bring it down another day. 

It's a tiring and an exhausting routine. 

But no, although I feel like giving up, I know I won't. I will always find a way to get back up, even it means I continue to fall, get hurt, get back up, only to fall again. 

There are changes I need to make. I do believe or at least like to believe that I do improve a bit each time. At least I am trying, and will try harder, and maybe less some days, but I will try no matter how hard I fall, I will go on. 

/end

Was once an influencer, and why the hiatus?

Featured in some magazines and newspaper about blogging and photography

Okay, so thought of answering this question here cause it wouldn't be enough in just one tweet. 

How did you become an influencer dulu2 and why did you take a hiatus afterwards. Answer only if you want to. Thankss!!

Tapi yg ni wajib jawab, where do you derive your art inspiration from

— Queen Lychee (@lycheerambutan) February 12, 2021

Will answer this in parts. 

 "How did you become an influencer dulu2..."

The influencer bit, I'd say happened because of MySpace. I was one of the earliest people to have signed up to MySpace. Either it was below 500 or 5000 users at that time. And before they had the option of customizing the top friends list, I would automatically be there on most, especially for those in Malaysia. 

Also back then I did a lot of artsy self-portraits, which at that time not many Malaysians did? And also my profile picture was a moving GIF. I kind of liked experimenting a lot before others did (cause I was a loner nerd at  home with nothing else better to do). And the computer and Internet was my go to place to express my introvert-ness. So with all that combined, I guess people took interest in what I do.

I did manage to influence quite a number of people to actually get a camera and start taking photos. Which in a way was quite an achievement? So yeah, one thing lead to another. I started with the blog Budu & Belacan.. went up up up...

But.. in reality, my life was kind of in a mess. I still was very active after my divorce. So, then years after, I met someone... and at that point I thought, I should focus on my personal life, PRIVATELY. Prior to that, I used to share EVERYTHING about my life. Which kind of backfired. People started talking on gossip boards, making assumptions about my personal life. It bothered me a lot. I don't blame them though, cause I did put myself out there for public scrutiny. 

"...and why did you take a hiatus afterwards"

So, decided to just get off of the Internet one day. Deleted all my social media accounts, art accounts, blogs. Everything. There wasn't an option to deactivate back then. Just remove. So I did. Gone for a bout 3 years or so. Then in between got married, didn't really announce it, got pregnant, only announced when I gave birth. Many were quite surprised, was like, wait.. when did you remarry? 

If anyone notices I don't really share photos of myself or family these days, don't share much about my personal life other than daily struggles with art and my usual emotional mood swings. I feel that some things is best kept private. 

Then after much consideration and discussion with my husband, decided to make a comeback, as I wanted to do business from home, so thought that it was good to make a reappearance. So this is when I came up with Creep & Cream, a clothing brand for kids tees

My return was mostly for business. Only later that I started making it slightly more personal and now it's mostly about art. Which brings me to next bit of question:

"where do you derive your art inspiration from"

Fairy tales. Story books. Alice in Wonderland. These stories I grew up with as a child, influenced me a lot. And being bored at home, I always came up with things to occupy myself. Always played with my mom's make up, dressed up, acted in front of the mirror, imagined I was a Disney princess, sang, and all that. Then as I became a teen. I continued on expression myself, through drawings and poetry. It was only later on, when I got my first digital camera, I started doing self-portraits.. 

Now that I no longer have my studio. Married, staying at home with my kids, I still have the urge to express myself, but photography is no longer an option, so I started drawing more often, started from doodling.

And I had a phase were I doodled on wood. Then got my Samsung Galaxy Tablet, started dabbling with digital illustrations, paintings. And lately have been doing a lot of photo-realism, kinda brings back the memories of my photography days. 

There you go, I hope it answers your question dear Naddy! Thank you for the question, you just gave me content to write in my blog. Yayyyy. Alrite, will end this here. Bye! ~ Sue Anna Joe

Kembalikan semangat yang pudar

"Ke laut, ke darat, janganlah keparat"
Foto di ambil di Port Dickson bertahun dahulu.

Agak-agaknya boleh ke dapatkan semangat berblogging macam dulu? Kalau ada geng rasa semangat sikit. Tapi tulah, kebanyakkan geng lama pun, dah tak aktif, dah ada komitmen hidup yang lain, bekeluarga, berkerjaya. Jadi takda masa nak habiskan menulis blog. IG ngan Twitter, Facebook jauh lebih mudah. Takda nak pikir nak karang panjang-panjang ye dok.

Tapi sayanglah kalau terkubur macam tu je. Duk gak jenguk mana yang masih menulis blog, tapi dah tak ada "vibe" macam dulu. Kebanyakan yang ada pun, macam tak berkomen. Blog Anna ni pun tak berapa nak ada komen. Letak kat Twitter, diorang baca, tapi komen kat Twitter. Hahaha. Tapi takda nak bengang ke apa, sebab Anna sendiri pun macam agak rasa berat bila nak komen. Dia jadi semacam leceh berbanding dengan berbalas ciapan. 

Apa yang best pasal blogging?

Kalau blog, kita leh edit. Silap tulis mudah je nak edit. Kalau Twitter, mana dapaaaat.  Twitter ni nak tulis panjang kena buat bebenang, kadang tak semua orang rajin nak "expand" bebenang untuk baca. Komen dalam blog kita boleh kawal. Macam Anna sendiri, benarkan komen anonymous, tapi masih perlu approve sebelum disiarkan. 

Lepas tu, nak susun gambar, bolehla buat bagi nampak cantik dan sesuai dengan karangan kita. Tapi, agak renyah sikit. Kadang salah tarik ke terus tak cantik layout. Lepas tu, macam dulu banyak advertorial untuk blog, ataupun banner iklan, macam Nuffnang. Tapi Nuffnang pun macam dah krik krik. 

Anna dulu berkesempatan jadi talent di bawah naungan Nuffnang. Best gila masa tu, dapatlah duit sikit dari iklan dalam banner, tapi banyak dapat advertorial. Lepas tu, dapat gi event sana sini. Makan sedap sedap. paling best dapat merasa gi Legoland. Semua free. 

Tak lama lepas tu, Instagram dah mula memonopoli platform media sosial. Maka mula berkuranglah aktiviti blogger, dan banyak tertumpu pada "influencers" dan "IG pemes". Anna sempat gak la merasa zaman ni sikit. Lepas tu, diduga dengan masalah hidup, terus Anna delete segala media sosial termasuklah blog Anna semua. 

Adalah kot dekat 3 tahun menghilang diri. Lepas tu nak mula balik memang payah. Sampai sekrang IG sendu gila. Algorithm dia pulak macam ntah apa. Twitter je boleh tahan sikit. Maka saya pun terus lah ketagih dengan Twitter. 

Tiba macam Anna tulis beberapa hari lepas, terbaca orang ciap pasal zaman blogging. Kebetulan masa tu tengah rasa agak stress dan bosan. Pastu baca komen throwback, rindu nak customize blog la, apa la semua, terus semangat nak menulis balik. Dah ada blog ni tapi kurang aktif. Jadi harapnya, semangat menulis blog ni diteruskan. 

Dan di sini, saya nak mengajak korang pun turut serta supaya kita semangat sama-sama. Ayuhhhh kita meriahkan kembali dunia blogging!

Ok sehingga entri seterusnya, baaaaiiii.  ~ Sue Anna Joe